


Never Think That

by DemonDalekDetective



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Season/Series 07 Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 03:29:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonDalekDetective/pseuds/DemonDalekDetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Because if I see what Heaven's become, what I... what I made of it, I'm afraid I might kill myself."</p>
<p>Episode 8/3 Hunter Heroci, what could have happened if Sam hadn't walked in on their conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Think That

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: There are some suicidal thoughts, if that is a problem for you, please just skip this. Also, very slight spoilers for season 6/7. I don't have a beta reader, so there will probably be mistakes.

Dean didn’t understand why Cas didn’t want to go back to heaven. Sure the angels were huge dicks, but he thought Cas would want to visit the place to see if they sprang him from purgatory. Cas spoke of the damage that he did to heaven when he played God, and Dean thought he understood.

“If you go back, the angels will kill you.” Dean said. Even if he had forgiven Cas already, it didn’t mean that everyone else had.

"Because if I see what Heaven's become, what I... what I made of it, I'm afraid I might kill myself." Dean had not been expecting that. He couldn't believe that Cas would ever commit suicide, because even after everything Dean had seen him do, he still seemed so innocent sometimes. Maybe in another universe, Sam would have walked in and that comment would have been forgotten, but he didn’t walk in, and Dean had time to think about what Cas had said.

He realised that it reminded him of 2014 Cas, the drug addict who willingly walked into what Dean was sure he knew was a suicide mission. Suddenly, Dean had a hsn on the angel’s arm, and he was filled with emotion that he couldn’t figure out. “Never think that Cas. I don’t ever want you to think about killing yourself or harming yourself in any way.” He never wanted his Cas to end up like the one he met in 2014.

His Cas? He was just as much Sam’s Cas as he was Dean’s right? Then he realised that wasn’t true. Cas always said ‘Hello Dean’ when both of them were in the room, and he always looked, no, stared at Dean. He was staring now, and Dean was starting to with his hand still on Cas’s shoulder. How long had they been sitting like this? And when had they gotten so close.

Dean instinctively pulled back, moving away from anything that could be considered a chick flick moment. When he let go of his arm, Cas seemed to come out of a trance. “Okay Dean, I will attempt to not think such things in the future.”

And he should be pulling back, walking back over to the laptop to not really research. So why is he leaning in? The feeling that he felt before was back again, except this time it didn’t hurt like before. Dean actually didn’t mind it. But then he was faced with the problem that he was still leaning in and closing the small distance between them.

His lips brushed the angel’s, and before he even had time to freak out about what he had done, he said “I can’t lose you again Cas.”

And then Cas kissing him, and he was kissing back. They only broke apart when Dean needed to breathe, and thats when Cas spoke. “You never will Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought, as this is only my second posted fic and I am still highly insecure about my writing. Do you have any suggestions for a different title? I'm not really happy with this one.


End file.
